Act Sober

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This article gives tips to look and speak soberly in front of parents, teachers or friends while intoxicated.

This article is not an excuse for driving while impaired. It is a guide to acting socially normal while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Intoxicated driving can kill you and others.
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Steps

  1. Use eye drops. Keep them in your pocket. Apply as needed.
  2. Keep your eyes slightly wider open than you otherwise would.
  3. Be casual. Don't be afraid to talk, but don't try to argue or get involved in a debate.
  4. Keep sentences short. Limit your end of conversations to short, simple answers.
  5. Keep those "fantastic thoughts" to yourself or only to those you are partying with.
  6. Keep in mind how messed up you are, and act accordingly.
  7. Follow the next few steps if you find yourself under the influence of too much alcohol.
  8. Don't walk around too much. Find a seat and stay there.
  9. Be alert. Keep your eyes open and focus on the action going on around you.
  10. Placing a hand on a solid object helps your brain compensate for your lack of balance.
  11. Move briskly when you must walk. Forward momentum will keep you from staggering.
  12. Claim you are sick or tired You can sit still and rest your head just appearing tired.

Tips

  • Oranges, Potato chips or peanut butter are good to cover your breath, for both alcohol and smoked drugs. They are "loud" smells, but it doesn't smell like you're covering something up.
  • Blink quickly and often. Slow eyes are a definite sign of being under the influence.
  • Act tired. Natural fatigue often resembles intoxication.
  • Use common sense (whatever you may have left at this point).
  • The best way to avoid getting caught is making sure you don't get in this situation at all.

Warnings

  • Brain damage, liver damage and blackouts come along with continued, excessive use of alcohol. So be careful!
  • No matter how sober you find you can act, if you've had too much alcohol, do not drive an automobile or participate in any other activity that could risk your own health or, especially, the health of others.
  • Remember when doing this you are fooling no one but yourself.

Related Tips and Steps