How to Be a Good Step Dad
From My wiki
Are you a step father with extremely hard-to-deal-with step children? Then continue reading and you might just find what you've been looking for.
- Treat them like they're your own. No child likes to be disrespected! Let alone a stepchild. They may act like you're unwelcome, but that may be because they assume you think that you are their 'replacement Dad'. Ignore the discouragement, and just treat them like your own kids.
- Go easy on the discipline. They'll hate you for sure if you constantly nag, nag, nag about their grades, or nag, nag, nag about uncompleted chores. In their minds, no matter how awesome you are, they aren't yours. It's your job to teach them otherwise. They'll never appreciate you if you mother them.
- Do amazing things. You have to think about them. They are your precious angels. When you're out at the store, call their mother and ask if she or the kid(s) need anything. Anything at all. Or, better yet, want anything. If you can't find what they want, call again and ask for a cheaper/more commonly found replacement. (WARNING: Guessing the replacement is an absolute no-no! What if you buy the cheapest of cheap brands and end up wasting your money?)
- Have talks with them. THEM! Not the mom! Be alone and in a stress free zone. Talk about school,homework! ANYTHING! Never ever ever have parent talks like "you should have bla bla bla" or "well I think blapity blapity blap!" Because exactly what I typed is exactly what they hear. Plus they'll hate you and tattle on you to their mommy, just to frustrate you!
- Share with them. Everything. Be generous and share what you have! Be willing to share. Don't let the mother tell you to share. Share on your own!
- Take a genuine interest in their lives and in getting to know them better. Your step kids need to know that you care about them as people. Not because you're married to their mother, and therefore, feel that you have to, but because you really want to. Ask them about their day at school, or about sports practice. Doing little things like this assures them that you take an interest in their lives, and that you are there for them. Letting them know this is one of the most important things about being a stepparent- or any parent, for that matter.
- Be patient. Your stepchildren aren't computers, and so, they can't be programmed to warm up to you if they don't want to. You have to realise how hard it is for them to see their mom with somebody besides their own father.
- Expect to be discouraged.
- Expect to feel unwelcome.
- Get used to seeing heartbroken children being forced to hug you at first.
- Encourage yourself to keep trying to please them.
- Share information about your employment.
- Go on fun dates and include the children.
- Don't just look interested in the mom.
- Look at them as your children.
- Appreciate the fact that they are children.
- Don't expect for this to work instantaneously. You may find that, after following all of these steps, your stepchildren may still hesitate to warm up to you. This is natural. Like any relationship, it will take time for you to be able to bond with them. Just be patient.