Maintain Romance

There is so much more involved in keeping romance alive than just candles, bubble baths, and foot massages. You each have to work at it in order to maintain and enjoy romance in your life. Here is how to feed the romantic fires in your relationship in a deep and meaningful way.

Steps

 * 1) Bring play back into your relationship. If you find yourself feeling unromantic, ask yourself when was the last time the two of you had fun together. Just plain, silly fun. Doing something like playing a game, watching a comedy, or chasing each other around the house. Anything that you may have enjoyed while you were dating or even when you were kids can help you to stay connected.
 * 2) * Laugh a lot! Levity is a sexy thing. If you are stuck in thoughts of how much housework you have to do, or that you might wake the kids, more than likely you will not feel romantic. Laugh about the things that got you out of a romantic mood and soon you’ll find yourself back in it.
 * 3) Speak your partner's love language. We often express love for our partner in the way we want to receive it, but that’s not necessarily the way they need to receive it. Ask your spouse what you can do to make them feel loved and share the same with them. When you give love to your spouse in a way that meets their particular needs, they become more open to expressing love in a way that meets your needs. If you do not share these needs with each other, you can become confused and disappointed.Gentlemen, most women view affection as a reassurance of their partner's caring feelings. So don't hold back! If hugs and kisses will make your woman happy then go for it and you she will make you her King!
 * 4) Set the stage for romance. We often try to "get" our partners to be more romantic by believing we need to change them in order to have what we want. The truth is that you are much more likely to have what you want when you take charge. Create your own romantic mood by dressing up, putting on music, preparing sensuous foods, and taking some time to love and appreciate yourself. It won’t take long for your partner to join in the fun!
 * 5) Ask for what you want. Let your partner know that you are deeply interested in spending some romantic time with them; you would be surprised by how often they are unaware of this. Whining, demanding, and manipulating are contrary to creating romance, so do your best to ask using kind and loving words.
 * 6) Show your appreciation. Note and remark on the little things your partner does to make life better; while it’s one thing to be appreciated for making a romantic gesture, being acknowledged for unglamorous, unceremonious tasks like doing dishes or taking out the trash will turn everyday duties into acts of love. Successful relationships have a 5 to 1 ratio of appreciations to criticisms, so if you really want to heat up your relationship, start appreciating!
 * 7) * Send your partner a text or email at work just to say that you appreciate how hard they work to keep things together. If you really want to go all out, send snail mail; nobody expects it nowadays, so taking the time to do this is extra romantic.
 * 8) * Wake your partner to breakfast and leave a thank-you card on their plate listing reasons why you’re grateful to have them in your life.
 * 9) * Be specific! “Thanks for being so great!” is nice, but “Thank you for reading the kids bedtime stories, making the best pancakes in the world, and always leaving the porch light on for me” shows that you’re paying attention.
 * 10) Talk more. This doesn’t mean going over bills or scheduling chores; it means sharing your hopes, fears, interests, pet-peeves, and all the other things that make you you. This is called self-disclosure and has been shown to be critical for developing and maintaining feelings of trust and intimacy ; it’s no coincidence that these are all things people discuss endlessly in the breathless early stages of a romance.
 * 11) * Find a good time and place to talk so you won’t be interrupted by strangers, phone calls, or kids. Inviting your partner to go for a walk, for example, is an easy, romantic way to find some alone time.
 * 12) * Remember to be respectful. Reacting negatively to someone while they self-disclose can create serious fallout.
 * 13) Listen. All humans crave being seen and heard. Let your partner know you're listening by saying, "Wow, I can see why you’re frustrated," or, "That must have been hard on you." Being with your partner and really listening to them can be magical for you both.
 * 14) * Men tend to show that they care by rolling up their sleeves and trying to fix their partners’ problems, but this is often misread as an attempt to rush an unhappy topic along. Be sure to listen to and validate your partner’s story before suggesting ways to help.
 * 15) Tell the truth. Truth is a great way to create connection with your partner, and feeling connected is the ultimate aphrodisiac. For example, you might say "I feel safe when I am with you" or "Sometimes I worry that we’re too busy to create close moments together, but I really want to be close with you." Just share your true feelings and speak from your experience. If you are concealing in your relationship, you will not feel connected, so consider making truth an ongoing priority in your life.
 * 16) Respect your partner. Understand that being together does not mean being the same person or agreeing in everything. Accepting that there are differences between you two will make you better able to meet your partner’s emotional needs. Your confidence in your partner will make them more confident in themselves – and nothing is sexier than two confident people who love and trust one another.

Tips

 * Timing is important! Attempting to woo your wife with chocolate and flowers when she is stressing about housework will only increase her stress. Romance will flourish when you make the needs of your spouse more important than your own; if what she really needs at that moment is someone to fold the laundry and mop the floor, get on it! This will produce much better results in the romance department than giving her flowers she has no time to appreciate and lingerie she’s in no mood to wear.

Warnings

 * Many couples will subconsciously create an argument just when there is an opportunity for romance. This happens because we have conditioned ourselves to avoid intimate connection. We are afraid of being hurt when we are most open and vulnerable, so we shut down without even realizing we are doing it. When this happens, take notice – without judging yourself or your partner. Try once more to spark a connection by using the steps above.

Related Tips and Steps

 * How to Have a Healthy Relationship
 * How to Define Love
 * How to Handle Jealousy
 * How to Write a Love Poem
 * How to Be Romantic
 * How to Write a Love Letter
 * How to Show a Woman That You Care
 * How to Plan a Romantic Summer Date
 * How to Keep Post Vacation Romance Alive