Teach Your Child the Importance of Gratitude

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” — Thornton Wilder

A sense of gratitude is an essential ingredient in a happy life, but it does not come naturally to children. Teaching a child the importance of gratitude starts before he can talk and continues until he is an adult.

Steps

 * 1) Start Young. Teach her the "polite words" as early as possible.  When your child is a toddler, prompt her to say "please" whenever she asks for something and "thank you" whenever she's given something, no matter how small. From a young age she'll understand that we must show respect and appreciation to those who do things for us. If she's too young to say the words, say them for her.
 * 2) Insist on Thank You Notes. When he's old enough to draw, have him "write" thank you notes for gifts he receives. At first, you'll be writing the note, but as your child gets older he'll be able to do the writing himself. Make it more appealing by getting child-oriented note cards, personalized return-address stickers, and fun stamps. If your child is unwilling, insist! Put the gift off-limits until the note is written or come up with another consequence. Although he may not appreciate it now, writing thank you notes is a crucial life skill.
 * 3) Set a Good Example. Example is the best teacher, so let your children see you show gratitude to others, especially family members. Say "thank you" when your child passes you the milk or does a chore. Tell your spouse "I really appreciated you folding the laundry for me." Make a fuss when you open gifts. Let your child see your joy in the little present he made just for you. And make sure your child sees you writing thank you notes too!
 * 4) Think Out Loud. Have you ever felt happy just to get out of bed and see the sun shining outside? Don't keep it to yourself! "I love sunny mornings! It's great to be alive!" A sense of happy appreciation for the beautiful world around us can be infectious. If you appreciate what others have done for you, express it and encourage your child to do the same: "Mrs. Woo was so nice to drop off of these delicious cookies for us. Aren't we lucky to have such a wonderful neighbor?"
 * 5) Give to the Less Fortunate. Involve your child in charitable giving or volunteer work. Nothing inspires gratitude like realizing how difficult life can be for other people. If you give to a charity, explain to your child why you do and ask her to help. "I'm buying a toy for a child who won't get many Christmas presents. Would you like to use your allowance to buy one too?" Get involved in volunteer work as a family. You can participate in a clean-up day along the local creek, volunteer at an animal shelter, or wrap Christmas presents for a toy drive. Your child will see that many people do extra work to make our world a better place.
 * 6) Institute Gratitude Time. Despite your best efforts, by the time your child reaches the adolescent years, he may have moments of believing he is the most unfortunate person on the planet: everyone else has a better cell phone, more lenient parents, more expensive clothes, and a brand new car. Try having Gratitude Time at the dinner table. Before eating, each family member takes a turn describing what he or she is grateful for that day. It can be something significant: "I'm glad Grandpa is out of the hospital," or trivial: "I'm grateful we're having ice cream for dessert." Gratitude Time may be awkward at first. Be patient with statements like "I'm grateful Billy isn't wearing his hideous green sweatshirt" and gently prompt for a sincere comment. Encourage your child's participation by expressing your gratitude for him.
 * 7) Appeal to Your Child's Self-Interest. A older child who didn't pick up the gratitude habit early on might believe that expressing gratitude is a ridiculous waste of time, or that it's phony. "I hated that sweater Grandma sent me! Why should I say thank you?" Explain to her that her future depends on the ability to say "thank you." Who wants to do business with a company who doesn't appreciate its clients? Who wants to continue helping an ungrateful colleague? Who wants to invite an ungrateful house guest to their condo in Maui? If these arguments fall on deaf ears, you might need to provide the reality check yourself. Tell Grandma to stop sending gifts. Don't wash clothes, give rides, or do other chores for a child who does not say "thank you" consistently. She may resent this "tough love" approach, but eventually she'll thank you!