Deal With Your Dad's Girlfriend

The ways to deal with your Dad's girlfriend varies depending on who she is. Your father's relationship with her may be smooth or rocky and that in itself can affect how you view her and how she views you. Your age and living arrangement also factor into the whole equation. Do you only see her on occasion or daily?

Steps

 * 1) Remember that everyone deserves a fair shake. Try to approach her as a co worker or, if your in school, like the secretary in your school. She's someone you don't have to befriend but someone you're going to see and deal with.
 * 2)  Step back. If you just watch your father's relationship with her you may learn what he finds attractive about her. Chances are she'll be far more natural with him and getting to know her will go much smoother.
 * 3)  Reestablish your relationship with your father. It's good for her to see who you are in your father's life. As much as you need to accept who she is to him, she needs to accept who you are to him.
 * 4)  If you only see her on occasion, it's best not to spend too much time worrying about your relationship. Just make your father comfortable and create a relationship with her over the phone in your own time if you'd like one.
 * 5)  If you feel that she is interfering with your life, like if she is pushing her opinions on you too much, you need to say it right away. The sooner the better in a a non-confrontational way. Really talk about it make sure she understands what your saying ask "have you ever felt like that?" so that she can show that she is listening and is part of what you are saying. This will take her off the defense and invite her in.
 * 6) Listen. Try to hear if the things she is saying to you are her attempt to care for your well being or critical. Be open minded.
 * 7)  See if she is putting any effort into establishing a relationship with you. Getting along takes both sides working together.
 * 8)  Don't completely give up. What might not work out today may work in the future. Your feelings about your father's girlfriend should only come from within. If their relationship will become long term it's worth trying for, if not you may just develop a wonderful friendship with her of your own.

Tips

 * What is right for one person may be right for another. If you are trying and things aren't working out don't take it personally. Not everyone can get along. It's not your fault, just a fact of life.
 * Try your best not to let your parents' opinion of the girlfriend interfere with that of your own. It's sometimes difficult to do.
 * Write a list of things you do and do not have problems with. Try to find a mature way to address these issues. Be sure to deal with them one at a time. It could seem overwhelming to attempt to deal with them all at once and come across as an attack.
 * Listen to her side of things the way you would want to be listened to.
 * If she's completely unwilling to listen, let it go. You're not dealing with someone who is up to your level. She may be incapable of a healthy relationship.

Warnings

 * Never be too quick to agree with everything. Give things some thought before responding.
 * Don't depend too much on your father for comfort but do look to him with questions that apply to both of you.