Stop Being a Condescending Person

Condescending people consider themselves superior to others. They rarely stand in the shoes of another to see things from another's perspective. If you find yourself behaving condescendingly, it is time for an overhaul before you find your friends and colleagues deserting you.

Steps

 * 1)  Think about the things that make you behave as if you are superior to others. Often there is a deep-seated fear of rejection pushing condescension, as it is easier to belittle a person than to really get to know them and let them into your world, thereby risking rejection, mockery, disappointment or hurt. If you carry around such a fear, confront it and root out the reasons for it.
 * 2)  Stop assuming that you know more than the other person. This is not necessarily the case. As a whole, we know a great deal. As separate entities, while we may be expert in one small part of our field/hobby/profession/passion, we don't know it all and we have a great deal to teach and learn from each another. Instead, treat each encounter with a person as an opportunity to learn more, to expand your own knowledge and to gain an ally.
 * 3)  Be compassionate, not condescending. Condescension might serve to keep you apart from others but it can also leave you lonely, ousted, an outsider, which in its own vicious way, only serves to make you feel less secure and therefore internalizes the need to remain condescending. Try compassion instead; see others for all the struggles, triumphs, achievements, doubts, fragility, and strengths that they are really made of. We are all in positions of unique perspective. Every person you see is a wealth of information and ideas that you haven't come across. Learn how to approach people looking to find the hidden gem in them. Look for that unique thing in them that makes them special. You will find that you don't have to fake it.
 * 4)  Try something new. Do something you have never done before, something that requires you to rely on somebody else's knowledge and abilities. Let yourself trust them and keep your mind and ears wide open. This might be a hard time for you, as you will need to trust when you will feel the temptation to replace your fears with a sense of superiority and a need to take potshots at the instructor/teacher/guide but you must resist. Learning is a process of being humble and in being humble, you unlearn condescension.
 * 5)  Be assertive, not biting. If you have long used wit as a form of undermining others, it may come as a surprise to learn that your behavior is not assertive; rather it can be outright aggressive, or a form of passive aggression. Your quick wit of the moment against their reeling disbelief – what sort of a match is that? And you haven't even gotten to know the other person properly yet! Instead, make your points using the skills of assertive speaking. If you are afraid that people won't respect you or listen, think again – people respect the differing views of others when they are put calmly, clearly, and with a view to discussion rather than cutting off further communications. For more guidance, see How to Be Assertive Without Being Arrogant.
 * 6)  Be willing to change. It won't be easy letting go of the habit of condescension. Most of all, you have to want to change, or it will be a half-hearted attempt doomed to failure. To help you succeed, think about the benefits that will accrue. Benefits include people liking and trusting you more, less need to make witty comebacks as a form of instant defense, increased enjoyment of people's company, a chance to let down your façade, and probably unknown opportunities such as promotions and being asked to events. You might be pleasantly surprised when you let the world in just a little more than you have been doing.

Tips

 * Condescension scares off people and also starts the rumor mill - don't be surprised if you hear negative comments about yourself come back to you when you act as if you are superior to others. People will quickly find a way to knock you off the high horse.

Related Tips and Steps

 * How to Be Humble
 * How to Cultivate Compassion in Your Life
 * How to Be Assertive Without Being Arrogant
 * How to Be Laid Back
 * How to Strengthen Character