Get Through Life

Getting through life can be hard work. You will encounter losses, you will lose relationships, you will suffer physical and emotional pain. However, when you shift your mindset to embracing change, developing a positive outlook, and emphasizing the importance of connections, you can not only get through life, but soar through life.

Embracing Change

 * 1) Accept the inevitability of change. There is nothing more constant than change. Seasons, weather, trends, technology - you name it; it is steadily changing. Know that nothing lasts forever. If you are experiencing hard times, they won't endure. On the flip side, if your life is currently exceptional, be thankful for the good, but recognize that harder days will surely come again. [[Image:Get Through Life Step 1 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 * 2) *One way to stop seeing change as all "bad" is to recognize that you yourself and everyone you meet is constantly evolving. Whether you saw them the day before or weeks ago, each time you meet a person, you are seeing a newer, changed version. Time has passed. They have encountered new experiences, thought new ideas. Humans are not fixed in time, and neither is life.
 * 3) Set realistic expectations. If your expectations are too high and unrealistic, you will continually be disappointed by the outcome. When they are too rigid, you don’t leave room for growth or change. When you set expectations that are more reasonable, you have higher self-esteem and are better equipped to handle whatever comes your way. [[Image:Get Through Life Step 2 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 * 4) *An example of an unrealistic expectation may be "I need to make all A's in college" while a more realistic expectation may be that "I need to put in a lot of effort to do well in college".
 * 5) *You can improve how you manage expectations by regularly reassessing whether they are achievable by you, and by exploring a range of options rather than being focused on only one outcome.
 * 6) *If another person is placing unrealistic expectations on you, talk to the person and explain how the pressure to perform is affecting you. You might say something like “When you expect this out of me, I end up ___”.
 * 7) Learn from your experiences. Experiential learning is learning obtained through action, or through discovery and exploration. You can rattle off facts to students and they will likely forget. You can actively teach subject matter and they may remember. But, if you involve them and allow them to experience the subject matter, they can learn. In education, students engage in experiential learning by following a 6-step procedure. This same procedure can be used outside the classroom.[[Image:Get Through Life Step 3 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 * 8) *Experiencing/Exploring- In this case, this step simply means “living” and collecting experiences.
 * 9) *Sharing/Reflecting- Discuss your reactions and observations about certain life experiences with friends, a counselor, or in a journal. Think about what happened and what you discovered.
 * 10) *Processing/Analyzing- Determine what was important about a certain life experience. What problems occurred? How were those problems resolved? Were there any recurring themes?
 * 11) *Generalizing- Connect one experience with others to uncover trends. Acknowledge whether any real life principles emerged.
 * 12) *Application- Decide how you can apply what you learned from one experience to a similar or different situation.
 * 13) Allow yourself to live in the present. Try not to focus too hard on the future, nor dwell on the past - you might miss the things that are happening right now.[[Image:Get Through Life Step 4 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 * 14) *To practice living in the moment, engage in mindfulness. Mindfulness can be carried out at any time or in any place. It is the act of focusing on the here and now.
 * 15) *If you are a beginner, mindfulness meditation can be carried out by sitting in a comfortable chair. Place your hands face down on your thighs. Focus your gaze on either the floor 4 to 6 feet away or the wall ahead of you.
 * 16) * Breathe deeply. Just sit and orient yourself to your environment. Notice any sounds, smells, or sensations on your skin. Continue breathing and direct your attention to your breath as you gently inhale and exhale.
 * 17) *If you notice yourself being caught up in thoughts, simply acknowledge the fact that you were thinking, and then return your attention to your breath. Complete this exercise for 20 to 30 minutes daily. With practice, you can perform mindful meditation wherever you are to live in the moment.

Developing a Positive Outlook

 * 1) Recognize the power of optimism, and choose it. They say your attitude, not your aptitude, determines your latitude. In other words, how high or far you go in life is strongly connected to how you choose to look at life, situations, and people. Adopting a positive attitude can actually improve your physical and mental health as well as your longevity. [[Image:Get Through Life Step 5 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 * 2) Identify negative thinking. Optimism can be yours if you only change what you are telling yourself. In an effort to think more positive thoughts, you must become aware of your negative self-talk.[[Image:Get Through Life Step 6 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 * 3) *Grab a sheet of paper and fold it in half sideways. On the left side, write down every self-limiting and negative belief that comes to your mind. These might include “My life is horrible” or “I will never find someone to love”.
 * 4) *Over the course of several days, “listen” to your thoughts. Notice those that make you feel badly or particularly negative and add them to the list.
 * 5) Challenge unhelpful thoughts. Negative beliefs may have the power to drain you of hope. But, when you put a magnifying glass up to these beliefs, you may realize they aren’t very rational. For each self-defeating belief on your paper, ask yourself aloud these questions to dispute them: [[Image:Get Through Life Step 7 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 * 6) *Can I rationally support this belief? Since you cannot predict the future, you cannot rationally say you will never find someone to love.
 * 7) *What evidence exists that this belief is false? Have you ever loved someone in the past?
 * 8) *Does any evidence exist that this belief is true? Again, you cannot predict the future.
 * 9) *What are the worst things that could actually happen if this “bad” situation occurred? If this happened, you would be alone.
 * 10) *What good things could happen if this “bad” situation occurred? You could potentially learn to love yourself more and live out your passions.
 * 11) Create positive affirmations. Affirmations are positive and helpful statements describing a desired goal that are repeated to leave an impression on the subconscious mind. Grab your folded paper, and, on the right side, write down an affirmation that transforms those negative, self-limiting beliefs into positive, transformative beliefs. Repeat these statements regularly.[[Image:Get Through Life Step 8 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 * 12) *“My life is horrible” is transformed into “My life seems bad right now, but the tough times are making me stronger”
 * 13) *”I will never find someone to love” is transformed into “Right now I'm feeling lonely, but it won't always be this way.”
 * 14) Practice gratitude. A mindset of thankfulness can help you to develop a more positive outlook. Rather than dwelling on your burdens, focus on your blessings. Grateful people are have better physical health, enhanced psychological health, increased levels of empathy and decreased aggression, sleep better, have higher self-esteem, and more likely to build new friendships. Show more gratitude by:[[Image:Get Through Life Step 9 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 * 15) *Writing it down. Start a gratitude journal.
 * 16) *Tell others when you appreciate them.
 * 17) *Meditate and focus on a spirit of thankfulness.
 * 18) Shift your perspective. Sometimes, we get completely caught up in the crises of our lives. Getting "caught up" can prevent us from looking at a situation objectively, and, thereby, finding a workable solution. Instead, we just get lost in the drama of it. Take a step back and observe your life from the lens of an outsider. [[Image:Get Through Life Step 10 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 * 19) *Imagine that something happening to you is actually happening to a coworker or a close friend. How would you advise that person to handle the situation? Do you notice any negative thinking or unrealistic expectations?

Emphasizing Connections

 * 1) Surround yourself with positive people. Being around positive people breeds positivity within you. What’s more, no matter what you go through in life, a strong support group can help keep you grounded and hopeful. When you are around people who have a healthy outlook, this increases your chances of being happy and successful. [[Image:Get Through Life Step 11 Version 2.jpg|center]]
 * 2) *Seek out the positive influencers in your life. These are the people who practice gratitude and actively seek out joy in everyday life.
 * 3) *Discontinue relationships or distance yourself from negative influencers. These are the people who dwell on problems or burdens. They often don’t laugh or smile and their sour moods may be contagious.
 * 4) Develop your spirituality. If you believe there is a reason for your life, a higher purpose, then getting in touch with your spiritual side may offer protective factors against hard times.[[Image:Get Through Life Step 12 Version 2.jpg|center]]
 * 5) *Individuals who describe themselves as spiritual or religious often make healthier lifestyle choices in terms of diet, avoiding risk behaviors like driving without a seat belt, and refraining from smoking, drinking, or using drugs. What’s more, spirituality also provides us with a social support system that encourages us and helps relieve stress.
 * 6) *Spirituality doesn't have to be related to organized religion or philosophy; it can mean whatever you want it to mean. Develop your spirituality by practicing forgiveness, engaging in self-reflection, using nature and art to get in touch with a higher power, and practicing self-compassion.
 * 7) Contribute by helping others. Connecting with others can produce positive outcomes on both sides when connections are forged through charity. Helping others can improve our satisfaction with life, give us a sense of purpose, enhance feelings of self-efficacy, reduce stress, and lift our moods. [[Image:Get Through Life Step 13 Version 2.jpg|center]]
 * 8) *Not sure how you can help out? Here are some ideas: Babysit for your neighbors who don’t go on dates much. Teach your young cousin how to play an instrument. Volunteer at the local soup kitchen. Donate toys to needy kids over the holidays.
 * 9) Ask for help when you need it. Getting through life becomes less difficult when you know when and how to ask for help when you need it. Asking others for help can strengthen bonds and also help friends or family members feel more competent. We often mistakenly assume that asking for help makes us look weak, or underestimate others’ desire to help. [[Image:Get Through Life Step 14 Version 2.jpg|center]]
 * 10) *Think about a few tasks with which you could use assistance.
 * 11) *Recount offers for help you have received in the past.
 * 12) *Match your specific needs to the abilities or interests of those who have offered help. For example, if you have a friend who loves baking, and you could use help planning a party, she would probably be thrilled to help.
 * 13) *Finally, be direct. Requests for help often go unmet when they are ambiguous. For instance, you are much more likely to get help if you ask “Could you help me getting the kids to their games every Saturday morning?” rather than “Could you help me with the kids games sometimes?”

Caring for Yourself

 * 1) Exercise regularly. Adapting a habit of regular physical activity can do wonders for your life. Working out on a consistent basis gives you a lift in the energy department, helps you have a more positive outlook, assists you in controlling weight and fighting illness, and increases your lifespan. [[Image:Get Through Life Step 15 Version 2.jpg|center]]
 * 2) *Find an activity, or several, that you enjoy and get moving. A few ideas include jogging in the neighborhood, attending group fitness classes, rowing, or hiking.
 * 3) Eat well. Consuming a balanced diet of real, whole foods can help you feel great and keep your body functioning optimally. Select foods from each of the food groups, including vegetables, fruits, proteins, dairy, and whole grains. [[Image:Get Through Life Step 16 Version 2.jpg|center]]
 * 4) *Be careful to enjoy certain foods only in moderation, such as fast foods or sweets.
 * 5) Get adequate sleep. Strive for between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night for maximum health and wellness. When you don't consistently get good quality (and quantity) sleep, you are more prone to accidents, less likely to fight off illness and disease, and more likely to make unhealthy decisions, such as eating junk food late at night. Make sleep a top priority for better physical, mental, and emotional health. [[Image:Get Through Life Step 17 Version 2.jpg|center]]
 * 6) Perform self-care activities often. Self-care activities are those that nurture your spirit and soul. These activities elevate your mood, help your reduce stress, and give you the resilience needed to get through tough situations. [[Image:Get Through Life Step 18 Version 2.jpg|center]]
 * 7) *Think of activities you enjoy doing because they help you recharge. You might love taking luxurious bubble baths or getting a manicure. Maybe you simply like going to the park and walking through nature. Whichever activities rejuvenate your spirit, make time for them often.

Warnings

 * If life ever seems unbearable or totally hopeless, and you no longer feel like you can get through on your own, seek out help. Call a friend or loved one for support and encouragement.
 * If you are feeling depressed, contact a local mental health professional as soon as possible.