Regain Trust in Someone

When someone has lost your trust, there are times when you need to learn to let go of your mistrust or not. This article will teach you how to discern the differences between the two and how to trust again if you need to.

Determine Whether it's Worth It

 * 1) List all of the reasons you currently don't trust the person.
 * 2) Rate the items on the list on a 1-3 scale of how severe they were (see tips for examples of severity). This is your most important consideration. Even one item in the major category can destroy a friendship.
 * 3) Review the length of your list. If it only has one or two minor-medium offenses, then perhaps working on regaining your trust is a good idea. On the other hand, if the list is long then perhaps you need to reconsider trusting the person, at least for the time being.
 * 4) Determine how long ago the last offense occurred. Events that happened a long time ago should more than likely be forgiven. For example if your boyfriend or girlfriend was stolen 3-5 years ago, perhaps it's time to begin the healing process and forgive them.

Regaining Trust

 * 1) Create a list of why you want the friendship to go back the way it was. It doesn't have to be a large list, nor does it have to be on paper (however though it is good at times to have it on paper. This way in case you confuse some facts, you can look at the list and see what was wrong or not). A couple of ideas as to why you want to keep the relationship is good enough.
 * 2) Realize that the friendship will never be exactly the same. It may become stronger because of your ability to move forward, stay the same or it may become worse.
 * 3) Speak with the person who has offended you. Be honest about what you feel and what you need from the other person to move forward. It might be a good idea at this stage to discuss the lists that you have drawn up in the previous sections. For example, sometimes a simple apology is all that is needed; however, a return of an item or an agreement as to when money will be paid back may also be necessary. Other times you may need the person to prove to you that you can trust them again. Allow them to and give back trust when you feel they've deserved it.
 * 4) Allow yourself the time to heal. You may feel hurt for a while even after you have forgiven the other person. This is a normal part of the process and in time you will be able to move forward.

Tips

 * Examples of minor offenses (1):
 * Repeated something you said, to another person, not knowing it was confidential information
 * Ignored you when you called his or her name
 * Lied once or twice
 * Said your boyfriend or girlfriend was "hot"
 * Examples of medium offenses (2):
 * Repeated something you said, to another person, after you told them "DO NOT REPEAT THIS"
 * Lied often
 * Stole a small amount of money but returned it before you even noticed it was missing
 * Examples of major offenses (3):
 * Hurts others or themselves on purpose
 * Steals anything from you and then denies it (the amount of the something doesn't matter, it's the denial and the idea of stealing which is in issue).
 * Steals anything and refuses to give it back
 * Cheats on his or her spouse with your spouse

Warnings

 * Remember that not everything can be resolved or fixed.
 * Be careful with how you and another person deal with the issue at hand. Things may get far worse and you may end up in danger if the person is very upset because of what happened.
 * Remember that you may never gain this persons trust back.

Things You'll Need

 * Pen or pencil
 * Paper

Related Tips and Steps

 * How to Comfort Someone Who is Sad
 * How to Make Your Celebrity Couple Names
 * How to Build Trust
 * How to Fix Broken Trust