Be a Good Housewife

A housewife is a married woman who is not employed outside the home. Most often, the husband works during the day and earns income to financially support the family, while the wife takes on most of the non-financial responsibilities, such as maintaining the home and, if applicable, caring for the kids. It is up to the couple whether this arrangement works for them. Sometimes it's a temporary situation, such as if children are too young to go to school and the cost of daycare is greater than the woman's salary. For other couples, it may represent a commitment to traditional values. Whatever the reason, if you have chosen to be a housewife, here are some suggestions to help you flourish in this role.

Steps

 * 1) Discuss the expectations with your partner. Discuss realistic expectations, and how to meet them as best as you can. The definition of a good housewife depends on which house you live in. It is also very culture-dependent (see below). Do not presume that you have the same expectations because you may find out the hard way (through arguments) that you don't. Sit down and talk it over. What are the things he is hoping you will keep up with in the home? What are his responsibilities in the home? If you are primarily responsible for keeping the house clean, he may take responsibility for cleaning up after himself: putting his dirty laundry in the hamper, placing things where they belong after he has finished using them, emptying the trash near his desk, putting his dishes in the dishwasher, etc.  If you are also caring for young children during the day, you may be surprised by how difficult it is to also keep up with household tasks. Your husband may need to help significantly with the cooking and cleaning, if possible.
 * 2)  Maintain a great appearance. It is all too easy to stop paying attention to your appearance when you have a husband, but that kind of behaviour makes men look elsewhere. While it was important to keep a good appearance during dating/courtship, it is even more important in a married relationship, a committed relationship. Try to spend some time each day making yourself look pretty, wearing clothes that delight him. A lot of women would do well to wear skirts more often, as many men dislike women wearing trousers. Keep in mind that not all men prefer dressy dresses and skirts everyday. If your husband continually tells you he likes when you wear a pair of jeans or trousers, by all means, take the hint, while staying neat and clean.  Good grooming and hygiene are vital, so keep yourself neat and feminine by having a pretty hair cut, nice nails and smooth legs/underarms. Be happy to see him, and greet him with a smile.
 * 3)  Learn how to cook, and cook well. Plan ahead, with the aim to have a delicious meal on the table when he gets home from work. It is often said that the way to a man's heart is his stomach, and it is absolutely true! Microwave meals are not suitable cuisine, so find a recipe book you like and start experimenting. Having a great meal ready is good way to let him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. A good meal can be an expression of love and a warm welcome for your partner when he gets home.
 * 4)  Be mindful and considerate of your spouse's needs. Lots of men need space when they come home from a hard day at work, so don't harass him when he arrives home. Have his favourite drink ready, and let him relax after a tough day of work. If he wants to spend time with his friends and not you, take a step back and let him do what he wants, just make sure you have refreshments ready for when he and his friends need them!
 * 5)  Listen to him. A good wife listens to what her spouse has to say without interrupting. Show empathy and learn how to have great conversations. The main idea is that to be a good conversationalist, you should strive to listen more and talk less, by engaging the other person to talk more about his interests. That is the mark of humility, respect, selflessness, and generosity.
 * 6)  Improve your skills in the bedroom. It never hurts, and will only help to learn more about the sexual side of marriage. There are lots of books and website that can help you improve your sexual technique.
 * 7) Never nag. Nagging never works, and will only serve to irritate your spouse. It is perhaps the most common reason for an unhappy marriage or even divorce.
 * 8) Love your spouse for who he is. Don't criticise, and don't try to make him over. So you may have an image of the ideal man, but everyone is unique in his own ways, so try to respect that. Before you try to improve others, try to improve yourself first. It will be more profitable, and you will not cause unnecessary conflicts.
 * 9)  Let him take control of certain situations. There are times when a man will want to be in control, for example when he is driving, and doesn't need your comments.
 * 10)  Keep the house tidy and pleasant to be in. There is no excuse for your spouse to come home to a mess, so make friends with your hoover and feather duster.
 * 11)  Be nice and respectful to his friends, but never flirt with them.
 * 12) Pay close attention to little things. Remember his birthday, wedding anniversaries, etc. Pay attention to the tiny hole in his shirt and repair it. Pay attention to the speck in his coat and clean it. Little attention add up to big attention, and you will have a happy marriage as a result.
 * 13) Remember this: it is more blessed to give than to receive. So learn to give more, and receive less, and you will certainly have a happy marriage.

India

 * As a diverse country, India has different approaches in different demographic groups.
 * In a Hindu family, the head of the family is the Griha Swami and his wife is the Griha Swamini. The Sanskrit words Grihast and Grihasta perhaps comes closest to describing the entire gamut of activities and roles undertaken by the householder or housewife. Grih is the Sanskrit root for House or Home; Grihasta and Grihast are derivatives of this root, as is Grihastya. The couple lives in the state called Grihastashram or family system and together they nurture the family and help its members (both young and old) through the travails of life. They are a housewife team. The woman who increments the family tree and protects the procreated wealth of the family is described as the Grihalakshmi (the wealth of the house) and Grihashoba (the glory of the house). The elders of the family are known as Grihshreshta. The husband or wife may engage in countless other activities which may be social, religious, political or economic in nature for the ultimate welfare of the family and society. However, their unified status as a householder or housewife is the nucleus from within which they operate in society. This 'status', as housewives, anchors them in society and provides meaning to their activities within the social, religious, political and economic framework of their world.
 * In Muslim families, use of the term housewife is uncommon, even though housewives are very common and stay-at-home husbands are extremely rare. Muslim society sets different expectations from the husband and wife, but respects their individuality. Families are generally viewed as sets, not units.

China

 * In imperial China (excluding periods of the Tang dynasty when women had higher status in society), women were bound to homemaking by the doctrines of Confucianism and cultural norms. In most cases, the husband was alive and able to work, so the wife was almost always forbidden to take a job and mainly spent her days at home or doing other domestic tasks. As Confucianism spread across East Asia, this social norm was also observed in Korea, Japan, and Vietnam.
 * After the founding of the Republic of China in the early 20th century, these norms were gradually loosened and many women were able to enter the workforce (a growing number of women, beginning at this time, also began to receive education). Starting with the rule of the People's Republic of China, all women were freed from compulsory family roles. During the Great Leap Forward and Cultural Revolution, some women were required by the government to do heavy work that they were not physically suited for. This policy was later abolished.
 * In modern China, housewives are no longer as common (particularly in urban areas). Nearly all women work simply because one person's income is insufficient to support the family, a decision made easier by the fact that it is common for Chinese grandparents to watch after their grandchildren before they are old enough to go to school or are very young. Nonetheless, the number of Chinese housewives has been steadily rising in recent years as China's economy expands, and partly because Chinese culture is generally opposed to feminism. However, the reverse of husbands staying home and wives working are almost unanimously frowned upon.

Feminist critique

 * Many feminists, such as Betty Friedan, have criticized the marginalization of women as housewives. Feminists generally suggest that 'housework' should be an appropriate role for a parent of either sex, believing that gender roles do not have any basis other than social conditioning. They also maintain that women can become socially isolated by being tied to their home. Some feminists would argue that the goal of feminism is not to close off any options for women, but to create opportunities for women to pursue careers in traditionally male occupations, as well as providing males an option to pursue roles that so far have been perceived as "strictly female". Indeed, the role of the stay-at-home dad or househusband has become more socially recognized as an available option in modern Western cultures.
 * Some feminists also point out that the monetary contribution of housewives' work to society is ignored in standard formulations of economic output, such as GDP or employment figures. Housewives work many unrecorded hours a week, while depending on their partner's employment to provide health insurance and household income. The state or individuals would have to assume staggering costs such as childcare in the absence of unpaid housewives.

Biblical considerations
"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.  She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.  She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.  She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.  She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.  She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."
 * The Bible has a lot to say about how to be a good housewife. Much of it is in Proverbs and the Song of Songs. For example, Proverbs xxxi. 10-31:

Tips

 * Never criticise, condemn, complain, yell, or tell your spouse that he is wrong. Nobody appreciates that.
 * Mention his name all the time. Men love to hear their names, and it will make them feel special.
 * Show him how much you appreciate his love by treating him to a regular massage.
 * Make sure his favourite food and drinks are always available.
 * Breakfast in bed at the weekends is a great way to make your man feel good.
 * If your man buys you a gift, show how grateful you are by making use of it (even if you don't like it), so that you do not offend him.
 * Avoid arguments like the plague, and apologise as soon as possible.
 * Do not complain about his favourite TV shows; let him watch them in peace!
 * Take a break. A good housewife does not have to look after the home and children twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, always cooking and cleaning. If he gets time off from his job (evenings, weekends), you likewise deserve a break once in a while. Maybe he can do laundry or entertain the kids on one of his days off while you take a break to recharge your batteries, such as volunteering for a local organization, visiting a spa, or spending time with your friends. Not only will it allow you to foster your sense of individuality, but it will also allow him to see what housework or childcare is like, and he may respect you more for taking on these responsibilities through the week. Do not take too much time off, however, as industry is a virtue in most cultures. Be giving and generous, and work industriously, and you will be respected. Instead of taking time off, also consider enjoying these activities together as couple. Housework is not a chore, but an honour, and is highly regarded as such in traditional cultures.
 * Get out of the house regularly. It is easy to get caught up in your work and barely leave the house all day. This is a good recipe for the blues.  Find some weekly activities (local libraries are a good place to look) that will get you out of the house at least once a day.  If the afternoon rolls around and you realize you have not been out, go for a stroll, hang out at a bookstore or coffee shop for a half hour, or call a buddy and meet for tea.
 * Take care of yourself. Even if you are not a great cook, make sure that you and your family eat well. If you do not cook well, keep practising, and try to keep the meals simpler, focusing on fresh, healthy ingredients.  No matter how busy your day gets, make sure that you eat regularly and healthily.  Do not have junk food in the house, since you are there to be tempted by it all day long.
 * Develop and maintain a workout routine to keep your energy level and spirits higher. If you can afford it, find a gym (one with free childcare if you have kids), and go regularly.
 * Live joyfully. Make sure that you create a routine and role for yourself that brings you and your family joy. Being a good housewife is about doing the best you can for the welfare of the entire household, so make it work for you, your partner, and everyone else in the family.
 * "Mommy and Me" yoga classes, playgrounds, and libraries can be great places to meet other moms.
 * If you're experimenting with a new recipe have another dinner option just in case your new recipe goes awry.
 * If you have a new baby and are having trouble keeping up, get help from your husband, family and/or friends! Don't underestimate how much energy it takes to birth and keep up with a new baby.
 * Always remember to get out of the house for a little while, whether it's for a visit with a friend, a walk outside, a trip to the gym or a trip to the supermarket.
 * Encourage your husband to take time off to decompress and relax, but make sure that you are also taking the same amount of time to yourself! Women are less likely to speak up and make sure they get time to themselves.
 * Create a peaceful atmosphere at home. Try to minimize noises, such as washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

Related Tips and Steps

 * How to Make a Relationship Work
 * How to Have a Great Marriage