Tips for step-parenting

Step-families are a fast-growing family unit in New Zealand. How can the adults in the family make them strong? Sarah Marinos finds out Issues concerning children and second marriages and the merging of families are the top-ranking reasons why second marriages end, according to relationship expert Toby Green. Arguments over money and what’s yours and what’s mine are also a key breaking point. “Man and woman relationships alone are hard enough. Anything you add to that — his kids, her kids, his ex, her ex, and in-laws — only adds to the pressure,” says Green. “Step-families require more effort and intelligence because there are more people involved, and often that includes little ones who didn’t ask to be put into the situation.” But Lyn Fletcher, director of operations at Relationships Australia, says second marriages and step-families can work as long as the couple have patience and are prepared to put in some hard groundwork. “When a step-family works it’s wonderful. It models how we can adapt to different life situations and opens our hearts. There is no magic involved – it just takes time, effort and hard work,” she says. Read More: Tips for step-parenting Add new comment