Know if You're Dealing With an Ideologue

Simply put, an ideologue is someone who is dedicated to a certain way of thinking, whether it is political, philosophical or religious in nature in a nearly fanatical way. They can be very difficult to deal with. This simple guide will help you figure out whether a person is an ideologue.

Steps

 * 1) Pay attention to your conversations with them. See if they always want to talk about a certain topic, even if you have either hinted or have told them outright that you don't want to talk about it. Try using the tactics in How to Avoid Uncomfortable Conversations About Religion (whether the topic is religion or not) and see how they respond.
 * 2) Analyze the relationship as it has developed over time. Think back and remember how your relationship with this person came into existence. An ideologue will at first seem genuinely interested in your opinions and might truly understand them, but over time will become impatient with you once they see that you are not going to convert to theirs without serious consideration. An ideologue often has what could be called a 'missionary complex'-- they seem determined to convert others to their viewpoint regardless of the cost.
 * 3) Check their attitudes on opposing viewpoints. There is no such thing as compromise with an ideologue. Generally, an ideologue doesn't understand the concept of 'agree to disagree'. To use a cliché, they see everything in black and white.
 * 4) Reflect on their communication habits. An ideologue will seem well versed in whatever belief system they are committed to, and will often quotes facts and statistics as if they have rehearsed them. Even if you do have information to back your ideas, an ideologue will present their ideas in a manner that prevents you from presenting yours- they will cut off your side of the conversation, for example.
 * 5) Think about how they present their ideas. An ideologue will often present their ideas and opinions as material facts, regardless if there is evidence to the contrary. They also will start with discussions gently, but as time goes on, they will become more and more aggressive.

Tips

 * There is nothing wrong with being devoted or passionate about your beliefs. The difference is that a passionate person can understand objections to their ideas, and can resist the temptation to bring up the issue. An ideologue can't do either of these things.
 * You won't win the argument. If you don't want to slam the door and end the relationship, the easy path is to 'play dumb' whenever they bring up their hot topic. Regardless of how many facts you give, they will always be convinced that they're right and that you're either misguided (if they think you might give in) or wrong (if they sense that you've rejected their ideas).
 * You might try the therapist path with the techniques of nonviolent communication, repeating back their points patiently, trying to make them feel heard.
 * The cat-with-a-mouse path is to take their position and pull them further than they want to go. "Did Jesus give up possessions, can you talk about what He said about poverty?"
 * There are many ways to end a relationship with an ideologue. You can simply 'fade out' from their life, write a letter, or verbally tell them that the relationship is over and leave immediately.

Warnings

 * It can be hard to pick up on an ideologue at first, but it will be obvious once they are irritated by your rejection of their ideas.

Related Tips and Steps

 * How to Avoid Uncomfortable Conversations About Religion
 * How to Deal With Impossible People
 * How to Stop Being a People Pleaser
 * How to Defuse an Argument