Deal With the Suicide of a Loved One

Your spouse, child, parent, friend, or another person close to you has recently committed suicide. What can you do to make yourself get through each day? It will still be hard, but there are some things you can do to help yourself, in the short run and the long term.

Steps

 * 1) Remember that your loved one did not mean to upset you. They felt they needed to die to get away from themselves (or a situation they could not control any more), not you, and didn't want it to upset you. If there was a suicide note, you might want to think about it.
 * 2) Talk to others who knew the person, or others who have experienced the same thing. Strength can be found in numbers. The key is to talk about it and get every emotion - sadness, anger, and others - off your chest.
 * 3) Remember that it is okay to cry. Remember that someone died; it is natural to grieve them just as you would anyone else. The fact that they committed suicide is just an extra factor to your bereavement.
 * 4) Try to remember the good times you had. At first, this will seem to plunge you back into despair and grief. But as time passes, you will look back on these times with some sadness, but happiness too.
 * 5) Try to not think about how they died or their suicide at all. Thinking about it will only make the pain stronger, and the suicide will most likely haunt you in your dreams. Not being able to let go after the death of something or someone is most unhealthy. Remember to grieve; it's healthy.

Tips

 * Find a grief counseling center or group if you are having a particularly hard time and have no one to to turn to. It might also help to do this to get a fresh perspective that friends and family of the person who died cannot offer.
 * While some differ on this idea, many think that staying busy can help move past the grief. While you shouldn't hide from your emotions by working or staying busy, remaining active can ward off depression and dark thoughts.
 * For any of the warnings below, if you do not feel comfortable talking with a doctor, speak with a friend, family member or anyone you do feel comfortable talking to about it.

Warnings

 * Any prolonged depression should be reported to your doctor immediately.
 * Any continual thoughts of death - your own death or others - should also be reported.
 * You may find that you want to start bad habits (i.e. nail-biting, smoking, doing drugs, drinking) while you are in grief. Perhaps you did these things at one time and are now thinking of starting up again. Get help fast! A good starting place is with your doctor or your local community services which may have many programs to help you.

Related Tips and Steps

 * How to Prepare for the Death of a Loved One
 * How to Live After the Death of a Spouse
 * How to Talk to Your Children About Death
 * How to Write an Obituary