Stop Your Stress from Harming Your Child

Stress is a natural part of your life. Unfortunately, stress not only strains the relationships of adults, but can harm children. Fortunately, there are a variety of ways to insulate your children from your stress. To stop your stress from harming your children, you should be cognizant of your actions, deal with your stress appropriately, and communicate with your child. In the end, you’ll mitigate any damage that you’re stress may have on your child.

Being Cognizant of Your Actions

 * 1) Watch what you say around your child. Children are constantly learning from their parents. Thus, you need to be very cognizant of everything you say when you’re around your child. Pay attention to the volume of your voice and your tone as well. Even if your child is too young to understand what you mean, they can still understand when you are angry by the volume and tone of your voice. If you let stress or anxiety get the better of you, your child will learn bad habits and non-constructive ways of responding to stress.[[Image:Stop Your Stress from Harming Your Child Step 1.jpg|center]]
 * 2) *Avoid having arguments or tense-filled work conversations in front of your child. If you think you’re going to have a stressful work phone call, excuse yourself from the room and then take your call. Don’t ask your child to leave the room – they might think you’re mad at them or punishing them.
 * 3) *Always speak to people in a positive and respectful way. Avoid being rude to people or cursing under your breath, your child will see that and may learn to repeat your behavior.
 * 4) Be aware of your own demeanor. Even though you might be stressed, you should try to avoid showing it to children. Children are very sensitive and might think that they’re the reason you are stressed or unhappy.[[Image:Stop Your Stress from Harming Your Child Step 2.jpg|center]]
 * 5) *When around your child, refocus your thoughts and actions on your child.
 * 6) *Try to smile and act positively when interacting with your child.
 * 7) *Always be conscious of how you carry yourself and react to people when you are stressed. Ultimately, children will sense your negative energy and internalize it. This can result in them being less likely to come to you when they need help or more likely to lie or withhold things to avoid upsetting you.
 * 8) Provide yourself with cool-off time. By giving yourself time to cool off, you'll make sure that your stress and negative energy dissipate somewhat before you interact with your child.[[Image:Stop Your Stress from Harming Your Child Step 3.jpg|center]]
 * 9) *If you’re headed home or to pick up your child, provide yourself with a couple of minutes just to relax and think. In the end, it’s better to be a few minutes late than to have negative interactions with your child.
 * 10) *If work stresses you out, build cool-off time into your schedule. For instance, choose a longer but more relaxing route home from work so you have time to relax.
 * 11) *If you’re stressed out and are running errands with your child, take a few minutes to do something fun together. For instance, stop at a park and spend time at a playground, get some ice cream, or sing some fun songs in the car together.

Dealing with Your Stress

 * 1) Use relaxation exercises to work through your stress. There are a variety of relaxation exercises you can do to lower your stress level. By lowering your stress level, you’ll be happier, healthier, and your child will be better insulated from your stress. Use relaxation exercises not only when you feel stressed, but daily for best results and to help ward off anxiety before it starts. Consider:[[Image:Stop Your Stress from Harming Your Child Step 4.jpg|center]]
 * 2) *Practicing yoga.
 * 3) *Exercising regularly.
 * 4) *Breathing deeply and counting to ten when you are stressed out.
 * 5) Create a schedule. By putting together a schedule, you'll be able to balance your life and lower your stress level. As a result, you'll be able to better prevent your stress from harming your child.[[Image:Stop Your Stress from Harming Your Child Step 5.jpg|center]]
 * 6) *Divide your day up and plan all your activities, if possible.
 * 7) *Use a day planner to organize your schedule. You can also use electronic weekly/monthly calendars. These can be accessed by all family members and relieve you of the responsibility of informing and reminding everyone.
 * 8) *Build time into your schedule for your child.
 * 9) *Set aside fun time. Make sure you have time for enjoyable activities like games, family time, watching movies, and doing things like laughing and having a good time.
 * 10) Avoid overcommitting yourself. One of the easiest ways to avoid stress is to avoid overcommitting yourself. Start by under-committing yourself and slowly build from there if you feel you have extra time. By taking on too many responsibilities, you'll stress yourself out. As a result, this stress will likely influence the way you treat your child.[[Image:Stop Your Stress from Harming Your Child Step 6.jpg|center]]
 * 11) *Don’t overcommit yourself to social activities. Depending on your schedule, you may not want to commit to more than one social activity per week.
 * 12) *Think twice before taking leadership roles in too many of your children's activities.
 * 13) *Reserve time for your children.
 * 14) See a mental health professional. If you are plagued by stress that negatively impacts your family, you may wish to set an appointment with a mental health professional. A professional will talk to you, evaluate your stresses and anxieties, and help you work through your concerns. Mental health professionals include psychologists, psychiatrists, or counselors.[[Image:Stop Your Stress from Harming Your Child Step 7.jpg|center]]
 * 15) *A psychiatrist might prescribe you medication to deal with your stress and anxiety.
 * 16) *A mental health professional will likely ask you to talk about your problems and stressors.
 * 17) *You can also locate a support group where you'll be able to talk about your stresses with others who understand.

Communicating with Your Child

 * 1) Explain your stress to your child. Spend some time talking to your child about why you are stressed. This will put your words and mood into perspective for them and help them to cope with your stress. However, be careful not to use your child as your therapist. Only discuss your stress with them if you feel it may be obvious to your child, and then ensure that the focus of the conversation is on reassuring them. Let them walk away feeling confident that you have it under control and are taking steps to address it, such as by taking good care of yourself.[[Image:Stop Your Stress from Harming Your Child Step 8.jpg|center]]
 * 2) *Let them know that you’re not mad with them, but with other things. Explain you had demands at work or in other aspects of your life, and that these things are causing you to feel anxiety.
 * 3) *Explain some of the responsibilities you have and that sometimes they seem unmanageable to you. Put this in terms they understand. For instance, say “You know how you feel when you need to clean your room but there seems to be so much to do? That’s how I feel sometimes, too.”
 * 4) *Your explanation and discussion will depend on your child’s age. While for an 8-year-old you may relate your stress to cleaning their room, you’ll have to use other examples like school and homework for a 16-year-old.
 * 5) Apologize if you are short with your child. Whenever your stress results in you being mean to or snapping at your child, you should apologize. By apologizing, you’ll let them know that it’s not their fault and is simply a result of your stress.[[Image:Stop Your Stress from Harming Your Child Step 9.jpg|center]]
 * 6) *Whenever you are mean or short with your child, you should apologize as soon as you can. For instance, say “I’m sorry I was mean to you. It’s not your fault and I need to manage my stress better.”
 * 7) *Always wait until you’ve had time to calm down before apologizing.
 * 8) *By apologizing, and doing so sincerely, you’ll teach your child a good habit.
 * 9) Teach your children stress management. Like you, your child needs to manage their own stress. The best way to do this is to instruct them and lead them by example.[[Image:Stop Your Stress from Harming Your Child Step 10.jpg|center]]
 * 10) *Explain that stress is never a legitimate reason to be rude or mean to anyone.
 * 11) *Talk to your child about tactics you use for dealing with stress. For instance, teach them to breathe and think before they react to something.
 * 12) *Teach your child to provide themselves with cool-off time before or after stressful activities.

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