Be Friends with Someone Who Attempted Suicide

Anyone who has attempted suicide needs true friends by his or her side.

Being one can be difficult and challenging until the person works through whatever crisis propelled him or her to attempt the suicide in the first place. Becoming a friend to someone who is severely depressed can be even more difficult. However, the rewards can be a lasting bond between the two of you and the best approach is a sincere one.

Steps

 * 1) Be honest with yourself. Do you truly want to become friends with this person or are you just curious about what propelled him or her to suicide? If it's the latter, then most assuredly you will come across as insincere no matter what other steps you follow.
 * 2) Consider your thoughts and feelings about suicide. If you're coming from a judgemental place and believe that suicide makes this person "bad" or "evil" in some way, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to maintain any type of friendship. On the other hand, if you are someone who is either perplexed or saddened by another attempting suicide, the friendship has a chance.
 * 3) Look back at your past relations with this person. How have you treated him/her? If your contact was in any way negative, realize that in the mind of a depressive (through no fault of your own), any negativity can be magnified to become a source of intense pain. For the most part though, you may discover that you have done little or nothing to make things either worse or better for this person. In this case, skip the following step.
 * 4) Apologize, sincerely, for any wrongdoing you may have done to this person in the past. If you cannot sincerely apologize for any mean or even slightly mean thing you have done, then you need to back away from the possibilities of friendship with this person.
 * 5) Step up your casual greetings. For example, if before, you have said "hi" to this person in the hallway between classes, ask them which teacher they have next. In this case you can either commiserate over a particularly difficult teacher or say "lucky you" if he/she has a delightful one. The key is to open the lines of communication.
 * 6) Find out about his/her interests. Are any of them something you are interested in as well? If so, you have a particularly potent starting point for conversation.
 * 7) Talk about your shared interests in a setting that makes sense to have this conversation. If need be, ask for a specific time to talk about something. For example, if you know there is a shared interest in gardening, say something along the lines of "Hey, I've got a rosebush and since winter is coming, do you have any ideas about how I could tend to them?"
 * 8) Repeat this process of questions on an irregular, yet sincere basis. Don't do it so often that you become an annoying pest with your questions, but often enough so that the question and answer sessions extend past the original topic of conversation. About once or twice a week should do it.
 * 9) Invite him/her to your house once after a couple of months of this, to show the progress of your shared interests. Actually, at this point, you may feel comfortable enough to simply invite him/her to your house.
 * 10) Repeat as you ordinarily would with any friendship, because by now, you have, if not quite a friendship, at least the solid foundation for one.

Tips

 * Consistency is key. This is true for anyone you want to be friends with, but for a depressive even more so because he/she will often have difficulty seeing positive gestures for what they are.
 * Be aware when you first start up the conversation about your shared interests, the depressive may openly wonder how you know what he/she likes. If so, shrug it off and say, "I asked around and heard you may know a thing or two about this."
 * Say "Hello, (the person's name)" and maintain eye contact because being singled out as special and using the person's name usually gives the person a feeling that you truly care about them.

Warnings

 * Any relationship with a depressive can be heartbreaking for a very long time.
 * No matter how sincere you are in your approach to someone that has attempted to commit suicide, you may still be rejected for friendship. Do not take this personally as it is very difficult for a depressive to accept the hand of a potential friend.
 * Be discreet about how you find out about this person's interests, lest you rouse his ire and the whole plan of friendship backfires on you.
 * Do not make the depressive feel cornered or trapped when you first try to have a full conversation with him/her.
 * Do not push the topic of the attempted suicide. He/she will bring it up in due time, so be patient.
 * No two people who commit suicide are the same, so be alert for different symptoms and combinations of symptoms. Seek professional assistance.
 * Do not let conversations become pity parties or solely focused on problems. Only professionals should deal with your or his problems.  Don't counsel each other.

Things You'll Need

 * Patience
 * A good heart
 * Understanding
 * Dedication

Related Tips and Steps

 * How to Deal With the Suicide of a Loved One
 * How to Survive After the Death of a Spouse
 * How to Help Someone With Depression
 * How to Help a Friend With a Serious Depression Problem
 * How to Fix a Broken Friendship