Accept That Your Child is Homosexual or Bisexual

Finding out that your son or daughter is gay, lesbian or bisexual can come as a shock, but it is important that you can learn to understand and accept your child for who they are. This is very important because it can knock your child's confidence if you don't support their views.

Steps

 * 1) Talk to your child. Be proud that he or she trusted you enough to tell you, because today's society is not always accepting. Have an open dialogue where you can both ask questions and share concerns. Remember, your child probably feels a little confused and very nervous also. Focus on being non-judgemental, rather than accusatory, even if the subject makes you uncomfortable.
 * 2) Remember that this is just who your son or daughter is, and whether you believe they were born like that or not, you still want your child to feel comfortable enough to feel that they can be true to themselves around you.
 * 3) Make an effort to learn about homosexuality, so that you can better understand your child's thoughts and feelings. This will also give you something to talk about.
 * 4) Try to accept your child. If you have trouble accepting your child's sexuality, consider joining a group geared towards parents where you can talk to your peers about your feelings. Talking to a counselor is another option.
 * 5) Become an advocate to family and friends. If you present your child with shame or belittle him/her, your family may echo your attitude. Foster acceptance by showing your family and friends you respect and understand your child. Even acting like you accept something can be a positive step toward opening your mind and true acceptance.
 * 6) Be calm. Don't get angry or tell them that what they have ''"decided/accepted"rienced, and be proud and supportive of their ability to accept themselves.
 * Consider that even though you may think your child's feelings or actions are "wrong", they are as natural to him or her as it is for you to feel attracted to or to love your partner. How would you feel if someone told you holding your partner's hand in public or spending time with him/her was unacceptable or worse?
 * If you believe that your child "chooses" the lifestyle he/she is living, and could just as well choose a heterosexual lifestyle, ask yourself: Who would voluntarily choose a life marked by fear of discovery, discrimination, and isolation by classmates, friends, colleagues, and family? Would you choose to live in circumstances that made your life a lot more difficult and keep it that way just for the heck of it? Do you still think they would if they could just as well be easily accepted by you and their environment? Did you "choose" to be straight?

Warnings

 * Making your son or daughter feel ashamed, even unintentionally, could ruin your relationship forever.
 * Don't try to change your child's sexuality because it's not going to happen. Accept them for who they are, It's the best option for you and your child.
 * Don't berate your child about the dangers that homosexual and bisexual people face in society due to discrimination. Your child probably already knows first-hand at least some of this discrimination, and by berating your child about it, you are only going to make them feel worse.
 * Don't kick them out, or use hateful words against them, this also could ruin your relationship with them forever.

Related

 * How to Learn to Accept a Gay Marriage
 * How to Be an Effective Parent to an Adolescent Girl
 * How to Understand Gay and Lesbian People
 * How to Talk with a Gay or Lesbian Person
 * How to Defend Traditional Marriage
 * How to Date a Bisexual Person