Change How You Think About Popularity

This can be hard. Popularity means everything to some people; always trying to rope their way up the ladder. But is there really a ladder? What will and do people do just to get one step closer to being popular? Is it really as great as it seems? Is it really... worth it?

Steps

 * 1) Understand the types of popularity. There are a number of "types": Friendly - The nice people everyone wants to be friends with, Mean - The ones who don't care who they hurt, Queens - The ones who are popular for acting too old for their age (e.g.. dressing like 18 year old girls at 12, wearing excessive makeup at middle school), The Snobs - Bratty, rude, and the Happeners - Just happen to be popular. Any popularity - even the nice friendly popular group - is overrated. People who try to climb to the top will act more like the Means without actually being "popular" yet. It's up to you whether you believe in all this, but whether you do or not, popularity still remains unkind and unwanted.
 * 2)  Judging is a horrible thing people do. People who are popular, normally the "ladder climbers", tend to judge others who are not as high as them on the "social ladder". To judge someone means the same thing as criticizing, but more emotional. They don't have the saying: "Don't Judge a Book by its Cover" for an unknown reason. Saying the simplest thing as "Whatever" or giving someone looks that show that you think they are weird, awkward or different can effect someone in the deepest form. Always think before you act, and stop any judging before it gets worse. Body language plays a big part in judgment. You can give someone the impression that you are criticizing them by crossing your arms, bored or "weirded-out" facial expressions and seeming like you aren't listening. Instead, smile, look the person who is communicating in the eye and kindly respond back without blabbering on.
 * 3)  Treat everyone fairly - no-one deserves to be pointed out as different in a bad way.  A good example which happens a lot during high school would be the different responses to jokes or statements: A girl who was considered "popular" said a joke, or a witty remark. Everyone laughs. And in the other hand, if a supposedly "nerd" said the same thing, everyone would stare silently. If it was as funny to laugh at the "popular" person, why suddenly is it as boring to ignore the "nerd"? If this is popularity, why does everyone want it?
 * 4)  Being Yourself is tough during popularity. You will want to change yourself to please others. You will want to wear certain clothes, act a certain way and possibly do things you are not meant to. The number one golden rule in life is to be yourself. Why is everyone so excited to change to be sitting in a big circle, or have a boyfriend? And once you've changed, there is no going back.
 * 5)  Don't Label people nerds or geeks - that can lead to tears, self consciousness and even depression. Calling people loners or freaks is definitely hurtful. If you see someone being called a geek, a freak or a nerd etc., someone's feelings will be hurt.
 * 6)  Is it really worth it? Isn't it better to have your own real friends? Sitting in a big circle won't always make you a good person! Will everyone really back you up during the tough times, and make you feel like a golden star through the good times? Will they do this, or just let you sit with them at lunch? Sitting with the rich kid with a huge house and cool clothes isn't always the solution to finding a true friend. Find someone who will always be there for you. Sometimes, well, most of the times, popularity isn't like that. You won't always feel like you have, deep down, a real, true, accepting friend. Be careful.
 * 7)  Know that being fake is an evil thing. Popularity is very fake and everyone can see right through it. Think it through. Is this all real? Or is it just a game? Be honest to yourself and think through it. Tell yourself what you think. Stand for what you believe in. Don't be fake.

Tips

 * Be yourself, love yourself for who you are, and never change. If you are going to not do these things, then its not worth it.
 * Don't be an attention seeker, or a fake. This is extremely important!
 * Make a pros and cons list - list the pros and cons of popularity. Try and list as many cons as pros and use this for your own guide.
 * Don't let popularity keep you down from school work!
 * Never use people.
 * Ask yourself, "Is this how I want to be?" Consider this whole article, and write down in a private journal or diary your answer. Write in as much detail as you can.
 * You can still be friends with the "popular" group. Courtesy in any situation is much appreciated. Still treat others the same way you would like to be treated. Don't do any of the above mean things to them either! As well as to anyone else.
 * Try not to label them as the "populars". This article uses this term for the reason to make it easy to explain. Try not to use these terms in real life though!
 * Listen, learn, live.
 * Always think twice before doing anything which could result of people being hurt.
 * Don't try to ever climb the ladder yourself! First, realize the cons against popularity yourself. Then hint without hurting anyone's feelings to others.
 * Try and do something effective which you could do for school to prevent "popularity". Put together a video on why you think it isn't as much as it's said to be and then ask questions to your schoolmates at the end to see their responses.
 * Be Nice!
 * Use this as a lesson to you and others. You are discovering something which can change you positively in the long run.

Warnings

 * People who use people are looking for more people to sit with to boost their popularity profile - don't fall into the wrong trap!
 * Never ever sit or hang out with someone who forces you to do things you don't want to or are not allowed to do. This is called peer pressure, and is a major issue which should not be ignored!

Related Tips and Steps

 * How to Be Nice