Ten Tips for Stepfamily Success

1. Listen. Not only to what is being said, but to what isn't. Note changes in your child's eating and sleeping habits, social ability, lack of interest in what's happening around them.

2. Be Aware. Of what is happening around you. In your community, at your child's school, your spouse's job, and with world events. With media events blasted at us 24 hours a day, as they happen, this part is easy.

3. Talk to each other. Set definite family times to just chat about the events of the day, your job, school activities, whatever comes up.

4. Plan. Cooperatively plan family outings at least once a month. In these difficult economic times, this is not easy, but using some creativity and group effort, it doesn't have to cost a lot of money.

5. Be supportive. When your child is having problems at school or with friendships, be there.

6. Be patient (and understanding.) Not everyone can grasp a though or instruction as quickly as you can. Some of us need a second or even third try.

7. Show respect - for each other's property, privacy, feelings.

8. Show feelings. This is a tough one. If you're upset about something your child or spouse has said or done, say so. If you're happy about something your child or spouse has done, say so!

9. Learn to negotiate. Nothing is carved in stone. This can be used successfully in dealing with teenagers. It's also a valuable lesson for your child.

10. Take time. To enjoy personal moments, either by yourself, or with your spouse. Being a step-parent requires "me time". Just be sure you communicate this to your child and spouse.

KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR HANDY! YOU'LL NEED IT OFTEN.