Do a Collaborative Divorce

delity, safety issues, mental health issues or anything that could hamper any mutually-agreed upon conditions.
 * 1) * Your spouse should also contact a collaborative attorney to disclose all his or her information.
 * 2) Hold your first four-way settlement meeting between you, your spouse and both of your attorneys. During this meeting, you'll provide full disclosure of all complaints, financial records and anything to this point you may have hidden or not fully-disclosed to each other.
 * 3) * The attorneys will require you to speak respectfully to each other at all times during all meetings. You'll most likely be required to agree to not speak ill of your spouse to anyone, even privately; a completely non-adversarial attitude is required to make this form of divorce work. And neither party can take advantage of any error the other party may make.
 * 4) * Each side's attorney will work as the advocate for their client, advising and suggesting workable solutions so you get the outcome you want but also is one that is mutually agreeable to your spouse.
 * 5) * Your attorneys will also require you to leave any children involved in the case out of any discussions; this is referred to as "insulating the children." The attorneys will not involve the children unless absolutely necessary (for example, a child is old enough to determine which parent he wants to live with).
 * 6) * Both spouses will secure help from neutral experts as needed to solve any disputes about issues like real estate, parenting issues and financial advisers. Both parties will agree to share the costs of any necessary experts.

Tips

 * Understand the differences between mediation, collaboration and standard divorce. In mediation, the couples use only one attorney who handles both sides, then gives a script to the petitioner to read when standing before the judge on the appointed court day. Standard divorce, of course, involves each side's attorneys working on their own files until every detail is ironed out. Sometimes these details are decided by the judge if the couple can't agree on certain details.

Sources and Citations

 * http://www.collaborativedivorce.net/how-start-collaborative-divorce/
 * http://www.collaborativepractice.com/_WhatIs.asp?M=1&MS=2