Calm Down when You Talk to Stressful People

It can be hard to talk to people who stress you out. Whether you're an adult or child, staying calm when dealing with stressful people will help you to ride out the other's emotions while staying inwardly stoic and outwardly composed.

Steps

 * 1) Feign interest in their issues initially. Use active listening to give feedback to the stressful person, to show that you've heard what they've said. No matter how boring, relentless and repetitive their commentary, appear to be interested. This projects a sense of your calm and shows kindness. However, this isn't something you can keep up long term, it's an initial response.
 * 2) Use deep breathing to keep yourself calm. Breathe in for 10, breathe out for 10. Take it easy and remind yourself that this too shall pass.
 * 3) Avoid stooping to their level. Even if the stressful person screams at you, gets up in your face or accuses you of not being on their side, don't retaliate. Simply nod and agree that they are having some tough issues to deal with right now, and suggest that it might be a good idea to discuss the matter together at another time.
 * 4) Talk calmly to the stressful person. Don't fuel their stressful behavior by agreeing to their wild imaginings, half truths and surmised accuracy. Instead, stay calm and simply agree to hear them out and comfort them, but no more. Often it is enough to keep talking calmly and refusing to bite when they seek your agreement to whatever it is that is riling them, to get them to calm down a little too. At the very least, they'll realize that you're not buying into their stressful response.
 * 5) *If the other person is screaming or ranting, just ignore this aspect and wait it out. Speak when the moment seems apt, and speak calmly and in a low tone.
 * 6) Remove yourself from the other person's presence as quickly and politely as possible. The less time spent imbibing the stress of the other person, the better for you. If they seem to want you to stay, consider explaining that you feel a little unwell or that you're finding the conversation uncomfortable right now and need some time to consider things.
 * 7) *If the person shows a tendency to become violent or threatening, remove yourself immediately. Even if it's your parent and you're a child, you have a right to be safe from violence. Do not remain in their presence but get to somewhere safe or someone you can trust.
 * 8) Take a walk. The last thing you can do when you're away from them to calm your nerves is to go on a walk and think about the things you're happy for in life. Don't carry this person with you for long, as their misery isn't yours.

Tips

 * If you feel that you're getting upset, hold your breath in for 10 seconds, then let out. Talk in a calm voice.
 * Don't say anything disrespectful or unkind.
 * Possibly change the subject if that would help the current situation.

Warnings

 * If you talk back to the person, it will not result well.
 * If you try to get even by point scoring or trumping them with your viewpoint, it may result in the other person wanting a fight.