From Tips and Steps
People going through divorce are often overwhelmed with feelings of grief, confusion and anger. They must also deal with difficult legal and financial concerns, and perhaps navigate shared custody, child support and visitation. Everyone who attends a divorce support group is in the same boat, and can often provide both moral support and practical advice. In some cases, the right group can be the difference between struggling alone and taking control of the divorce process. There are many resources to which you can turn when trying to find a divorce support group. Once you find some groups, it is important to join the one that is right for you. A support group should make you feel secure enough to open up and discuss uncomfortable issues, and know you are being heard. There are different types of groups, and attending several of them is an important step in finding the right one.
Steps
Find a Support Group
- Ask your divorce lawyer for a referral to a divorce support group.
- Contact your local YMCA or community center to ask if they host support groups.
- Check local phone listings under categories like Mental Health Services, Therapy or Divorce. Organizations listed in these sections may organize support groups, or be able to refer you to one.
- Talk to your spiritual adviser about any divorce support groups run through your place of worship. If there are none, ask if he or she can recommend any groups organized by another religious community.
- Research online support groups where you can get help through message board communities and e-mail.
- Discuss the possibility of joining a divorce support group with your therapist, if you are seeing one. He or she may be able to recommend group sessions led by a trained divorce therapist, though there is often a fee to join and attendance is usually mandatory.
Evaluate Divorce Support Groups
- Consider which type of support group would help you most: religious, 12 step or group therapy.
- Religious groups may provide spiritual guidance to help people build their lives after divorce.
- Twelve-step programs help people going through divorce find peace by teaching them to separate things they can control from those they cannot.
- Groups facilitated by a trained therapist can be a very productive. Members usually commit to attending for a specific period of weeks or months and pay to be there, so the environment is safe and attendees have the opportunity to build strong relationships.
- Choose between co-ed and single-sex support groups.
- Groups attended by both men and women can be a safe place to work through issues with the opposite sex.
- Support groups for men only or women only might help members be more open about their feelings.
- Decide how often you want to attend a support group. People who have just separated may want to find a group that meets every week, as opposed to once a month.
Choose a Divorce Support Group
- Attend a group three times. Come prepared to listen, share and receive support.
- Write down your gut level feelings immediately after each session: do you feel relieved, worried, confused or sad? If, after three meetings, your feelings are more negative than positive, you might want to try a different environment.
Tips
- Join a divorce support group in your state, so you can get advice from other members on divorce laws where you live.
- Divorce brings stressful changes in routine and extra time commitments, so choose a support group you can commute to easily.
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